‘When you set out on a journey of revenge, dig two graves’, is often credited with Confucius. It is actually derived from an ancient Japanese proverb, ‘If you call down a curse on anyone, look out for two graves.’
The original Japanese version is more applicable for negotiations, since less skilled negotiators tend to focus too much on the Content of the negotiation and are not Process Aware of what is going on in the negotiation.
Revenge is an emotional response by someone who feels wronged by another party. Retribution comes from high emotions which drive a short-term, ‘I win, you lose’ objective. This can lead to a cyclical situation where the other party then ‘strikes back’, with a new round of retribution or revenge tactics.
On the other hand, the pursuit of justice/fairness is based more on logical and impartial values. This focus helps to better manage emotions during the negotiation, reduces negative thoughts, and opens the possibility of more options and better outcomes for both parties.